Erotic Sex Lubrication

   Question: “I'm 23 yrs old. I have a huge sex drive. I think about sex almost all the time and if I could do it all day than I would. The problem is that when it comes time for me and my boyfriend to have sex I cannot stay wet. My vagina gets very dry and causes my boyfriend pain and has slightly ripped some skin on his penis several times. I also have alot of trouble reaching orgasm. I feel bad because I have to fake an orgasm everytime we have sex. I began having sex at the age of 16 and I've only experienced an orgasm 3 times, and all 3 times have been with my current boyfriend. I'm not going to see a doctor about this because it's expensive and I don't have insurance. I don't want my boyfriend to think that he doesn't turn me on because he does turn me on very much.

   What do you think is the problem and what do you think I should do about it?

   Thank you for your time :)”

I congratulate you on your huge sex drive. After all sex is the activity that all human beings should be able to enjoy. Sex is great and fantastic. Sex is a sure way of reaching heavenly delights. Your boyfriend is a lucky man.

The first thing that you could do is having a prolonged foreplay. It is fun and a great way to get naturally lubricated. Kiss, caress and tease till you are naturally all lubed up. Just have fun. Build lots of sexual tension. Take all the time in the world and the magic of Mother Nature will take care of the rest. This is the best and cheapest solution to your problem. I personally recommend going with this one as often as possible. Even if you decide to use one of the following solutions, remember: foreplay is not the answer, but the question. The answer is yes. So always have erotic fun in foreplay. I believe that everything that is not sex should be foreplay. That way you and your partner are always ready for some lustful action.   

Another thing that you could do is use a lubricant. There are a lot of choices out there when it comes to sex lubricants. For normal sex I recommend a water base lubricant. Lube is a great way to spice your sex life. Any sexual active person should own at least a tube of lube. There is a lot of fun to be had using lube. You should visit your local sex shop and talk to the shop keeper. Ask them about the different kinds of lube that they have. They will tell you the pro and cons for every type. And pick the one that fits you and your partners needs perfectly. Be very carefully when choosing a lube. Glycerin based lubes may cause or exacerbate vaginal yeast infections in persons who are susceptible. Water lubes will evaporate after a while.  Sex is hot, what can I say. So constant reapplication is needed. Also they leave an easily washable residue on the skin.  Newer generation water-based lubricants are formulated with natural skin moisturizers such as carrageenan, eliminating the sticky residue post-evaporation.  As a bonus carrageenan, in some formulations such as Bioglide, have been shown to be potent inhibitors of human papillomavirus infection in vitro.

Unlike water-based lubricants, oil-based lubricants, such as Vaseline, dissolve latex and are likely to reduce the effectiveness of latex condoms and diaphragms as contraceptives and protection against sexually transmitted diseases. Synthetic oil-based lubes are generally used for anal sex.  Although Vaseline is inexpensive and readily available, it can often be difficult to clean off the body after sexual activity. It just won’t go off with water, coating the skin. Clear, bottled mineral oil (commonly used as an oral laxative), or baby oil, is a less viscous alternative to Vaseline and is easier to wash off the skin. These are still synthetic petroleum based products and can cause skin irritation. So be careful. Medicinal Castor oil was the original plant-based surgical lubricant. Many other natural plant-based fats, such as Coconut oil or Cocoa butter, may be used as well.

Silicone-based lubes possess many unique qualities which make them very different from other lubes. Silicone based lubes do not absorb into the skin, instead staying on the surface of the skin to provide a durable glide. Various products have varying characteristics, quality and performance. Not all silicone-based lubricants are certified condom and latex safe so you must always check the label and use as directed. Silicone-based lubricants are not recommended for use with silicone-based sex toys. The lubricants dissolve the surface of your erotic toys, making them sticky and causing them to slowly disintegrate. Losing your favorite sex toy can be a bummer. Also pre-lubricated condoms may use a silicone lube. So check and establish if you can have fun using the silicone-based sex toys and the condom.

Lube should be introduced into your sex life as natural as possible. Stopping the sexual erotic activity to apply lube must be an erotic and enticing activity in itself. It shouldn’t be a interference, but more of an opportunity to spice up your sex life. Speak with your partner. Tell him how much he turns you on. Tease him. Make him tell you what he will do to you after the lube is spread in a sexy manner. Or your lover could take a little time off from intercourse and tease you for a while, using the sexy and erotic lube. Let your imagination fly away with you, and the possibilities of integrating lube into your sex life are endless. Just go with the flow.

If going with the moment, and spontaneous hot sex is your desire, then you should go to a drug store. Replens is a vaginal pessary inserted every third day that provides a continuous level of additional lubrication. This means that lubrication does not have to be used at the time of lovemaking. So it allows for spontaneous sex to happen. Other forms of lubrication include KY jelly, chemist own-brand aqueous lubricants and another called Senselle.

When it comes to the orgasm part of the question you should read Orgasm – To fake or not to fake, that is the question and The Continuous Orgasm. And remember that having fun and feeling good are the key to a fulfilling sexual life. So you should take a little time now and think of what you will do to ensure a more enticing and exciting sex life for you and your lover.